Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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