is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
