My first STD was from a foam party
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
