She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
