Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
