your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
