So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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