you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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