don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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