Dignity is for republicans.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
what the fuck happened to the tacos
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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