what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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