everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
