the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
