i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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