she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
