Jerry, you need to find god
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
