I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
MIDGETS
????
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
