im six kinds of drunk right now
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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