he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How does one acquire holy water?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
