thus making me awesome and them whores
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
