dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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