Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
