thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
