About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
