i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
3pm strippers are depressing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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