OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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