I just cut my nipple shaving
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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