we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
