Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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