I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's like heaven, but drunker
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
