It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
