They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
