Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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