I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
