There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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