I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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