Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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