She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
