u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
