i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
