I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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