you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
