My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
