Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
