i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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