to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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