btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
