Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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