So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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