Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
