I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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