dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
