Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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