Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
