Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
