turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize