3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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