having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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