Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize