maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
