My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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