I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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