I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize