We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
