and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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