I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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