I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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