can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
