So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
