thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
