so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
